Monday, March 9, 2009

Pickup Technique from the Chronicles of Bus #10

Let me tell you about the attempted pickup that one of my male brothers tried on the bus the other day.

I'm sitting on a bench that seats 3 people. I'm in the middle (the seat that has the most room) and my male brother is sitting directly to my right. I've seen the guy before as he's a regular on the bus. He looks like a nice guy and has the look of someone you can trust. He's usually reading a book while listening to his MP3 player. He's a bit nerdy/dorky though, as he's the type to carry a dictionary with him to look up words he doesn't know when he's reading.

Well, a girl sits directly to my left and he attempts his pickup. The girl has her earbuds on and before she can even sit down, he attempts to start the conversation (remember, I'm sitting between the 2 of them).

Guy: "What are you listening to?"
Girl: "Excuse me?" (as she removes one earbud)
Guy: "What are you listening to?"
Girl: "Alicia Keys." (as she reinserts earbud)
Guy: "Oh, she's good. What album?"
Girl: "Her latest album." (she removes her earbud and realizes she's probably going to have to talk to the guy)
Guy: "I haven' heard that entire album yet. I've seen you at the bus stop before. Do you work in the area?"
Girl: "Yeah."
Guy: "What do you do? I'm a computer engineer."
Girl: "I'm an administrative assistant."
Guy: "An assistant? So do you answer phones, get stuff for people? Is that what you want to be? Don't you want to be promoted to a manager or something?"
Girl: "Yeah. I may go back to school soon." (as she answered in a somewhat annoyed tone)
Guy: "What will you study?"
Girl: "Will pursue my Masters."
Guy: "In what?"
Girl: "Business."
Guy: "I didn't catch your name. My name is XXXXX."
Girl: "My name is YYYYY."
Guy: "Oh, I think I caught your name before. Maybe that was someone else."

By this time she is clearly not in the mood to talk any further. She puts her earbud back on and pulls a magazine out of her bag. He notices and says:

Guy: "You look like you're very involved with your iPod. It was nice talking to you."
Girl: She simply nods her head and doesn't even answer.
The conversation is clearly over!

You have no idea how much strength it took for me not to laugh out loud. I'm no ladies man but even I could tell that the girl wanted nothing to do with him, especially after he insulted her twice in the conversation - first by questioning her current career choice and second by forgetting her name (or feigning to have her confused with someone else). Very smooth!

I will give props to my man for starting the conversation and trying to keep it going. He kept trying, just like "The Litte Engine That Could".

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