The Flirty Bus Driver from The Chronicles of Bus #10

When you take the bus, you inevitably meet all types of bus drivers. Here's how I've been classifying them so far:

• Fast bus drivers - these drivers drive fast and change lanes often to get to the stops on time
  
• Conservative bus drivers - these drivers are not concerned so much with speed but being safe (i.e., seldom change lanes)
• Speedy Gonzalez bus drivers - these drivers are faster than the 'Fast bus drivers' and will run red lights
• Nice bus drivers - these drivers are nice, will say 'Hello' when you step on the bus and will let you ride for free if s/he recognizes you as a regular passenger and you're either short on change or you forgot your bus pass
• Mean bus drivers - these drivers don't want anything to do with you (they never say 'Hi' even if you say 'Hello' first), have a scowl on their face, and are generally unpleasant
  

Today, I came across a new type that I'm adding to the list - the Flirty bus driver. This bus driver is like the Nice bus driver, BUT he makes sure to really chat up the ladies when they get on the bus. You should have seen the driver this morning!

Bus #10 has a lot of passengers who are office workers and community college students. The bus driver said 'Hi' to everyone as you got on and 'Have a nice day' when you got off; but he had more to say to you if he thought you were attractive (i.e., pretty female). His comments weren't out of line or anything like that; but you do notice that he'd ask the ladies if they had a nice weekend or tell them that they look nice today.

Pickup Technique from the Chronicles of Bus #10

Let me tell you about the attempted pickup that one of my male brothers tried on the bus the other day.

I'm sitting on a bench that seats 3 people. I'm in the middle (the seat that has the most room) and my male brother is sitting directly to my right. I've seen the guy before as he's a regular on the bus. He looks like a nice guy and has the look of someone you can trust. He's usually reading a book while listening to his MP3 player. He's a bit nerdy/dorky though, as he's the type to carry a dictionary with him to look up words he doesn't know when he's reading.

Well, a girl sits directly to my left and he attempts his pickup. The girl has her earbuds on and before she can even sit down, he attempts to start the conversation (remember, I'm sitting between the 2 of them).

Guy: "What are you listening to?"
Girl: "Excuse me?" (as she removes one earbud)
Guy: "What are you listening to?"
Girl: "Alicia Keys." (as she reinserts earbud)
Guy: "Oh, she's good. What album?"
Girl: "Her latest album." (she removes her earbud and realizes she's probably going to have to talk to the guy)
Guy: "I haven' heard that entire album yet. I've seen you at the bus stop before. Do you work in the area?"
Girl: "Yeah."
Guy: "What do you do? I'm a computer engineer."
Girl: "I'm an administrative assistant."
Guy: "An assistant? So do you answer phones, get stuff for people? Is that what you want to be? Don't you want to be promoted to a manager or something?"
Girl: "Yeah. I may go back to school soon." (as she answered in a somewhat annoyed tone)
Guy: "What will you study?"
Girl: "Will pursue my Masters."
Guy: "In what?"
Girl: "Business."
Guy: "I didn't catch your name. My name is XXXXX."
Girl: "My name is YYYYY."
Guy: "Oh, I think I caught your name before. Maybe that was someone else."

By this time she is clearly not in the mood to talk any further. She puts her earbud back on and pulls a magazine out of her bag. He notices and says:

Guy: "You look like you're very involved with your iPod. It was nice talking to you."
Girl: She simply nods her head and doesn't even answer.
The conversation is clearly over!

You have no idea how much strength it took for me not to laugh out loud. I'm no ladies man but even I could tell that the girl wanted nothing to do with him, especially after he insulted her twice in the conversation - first by questioning her current career choice and second by forgetting her name (or feigning to have her confused with someone else). Very smooth!

I will give props to my man for starting the conversation and trying to keep it going. He kept trying, just like "The Litte Engine That Could".

Tech Support from "The Chronicles of Bus #10"

After much thought and discussion with the wife, I have decided to name all my bus postings under the title of "The Chronicles of Bus #10". Today, I bring you Tech Support from the Chronicles of Bus #10:

People do a lot of things on the bus. Some read, some listen to their iPod/MP3 player/CDs, some surf the net or text message on their cell phones, and some sleep. There is one woman on the bus that likes to make phone calls on the bus.

I've heard her talk to her friends, people at her office, bill collection agencies, etc. but today's call with Dell Tech Support was the best. I know you're probably asking why I'm eavesdropping, but one can't help it. When you're on the f'ing bus, it is LOUD. To have any chance of the other party hearing you, you almost have to yell into the phone. Even with my music on, you cannot help but hear this woman's conversation.

Her conversation with Dell Tech Support starts off with a negotiation on the cost of the call. She's trying to knock down the $29.99 cost in half by using the 'I've been a customer since 2006' line. Obviously, it doesn't work and she relents by agreeing to pay the full amount.

She then describes to the tech that her computer isn't working right. The computer is slow, sometimes it just restarts itself, etc. The tech then starts giving her directions and she furiously starts writing these instructions down. As she's writing, the tech must have stopped talking because she starts asking 'Hello? Are you still there?' The tech responded and she asks 'What do I do next?' Next thing I hear is her saying to the tech that she doesn't have the computer in front of her because she's on the bus and her computer is at home.

I surmise that the tech stopped talking because he was expecting the woman to try those instructions on her computer to see what happens. He must have advised her to call back when she's in front of her computer because she asks him for a direct number and his extension.

The kicker is she then retracts and says, 'Since I'm paying for this call, shouldn't you call me back when I'm in front of my computer?' She then proceeds to tell the tech to call her back in the evening when she is home. She also confirms that she should not be charged for another tech support call because it's not her fault she's not in front of her computer.

I don't know about you, but this was quite funny and I had a good chuckle. I wonder if other people call Tech Support while they are riding the bus? Feel free to share your favorite Tech Support stories in comments.

Bus Stories - Flying Rim

Lots of bus stories lately. Perhaps I should create a separate blog just for my bus stories?

Have you seen videos (especially on the local TV news) where a tire/rim literally flies off a car and hits another car? Well, that type of accident occurred the other morning.

The bus I was riding was going west on the freeway when the entire rim & tire flew off a car that was a few hundred feet ahead of us. The rim & tire:

• went over the center divider,
• hit a car that was going east on the freeway,
• then came back over the center divider,
• hit another car on the driver's door,
• bounced off that car,
  
• hit a truck,
• finally stopped.

It was scary. Very lucky that the flying rim didn't go through a windshield or window. The rim came off of a brand new car. It was clearly an aftermarket rim. I'm assuming that either the rim was defective or that it wasn't tightened properly when installed. How else would the rim and tire just fly off the car like that?

Very lucky that no one was seriously injured. In fact, there didn't appear to be any injuries at all...just damage to the cars involved.

Bus Stories...Continued

Another good one from the bus on Friday...

The bus was about 20 minutes late. When it finally arrived, the passenger ahead of me had this exchange with the bus driver.

Passenger: "The bus was very late today. Do I have to pay?"
Driver: "Yes, you have to pay. You always have to pay to ride the bus."

I didn't dare to laugh out loud, but I did have a smirk on my face as I paid my fare. The driver must have seen me smirk, because he started to laugh and just shake his head.

Only in Los Angeles...only in Los Angeles.

You think you're tough, huh?

Strange story, but the question above is what someone asked me as I was riding the bus. Let me tell you about it:

The bus was packed - standing room only - and I wound up giving my seat up to a senior. So I'm standing during the trip home and have my earbuds on listening to my MP3 player. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy staring at me. I don't bother looking back and just look elsewhere.

The guy was sitting down about 2 persons away, but I pay him no attention. He occasionally stares at me a few times during the 45-minute trip, but again I just listen to my music. Well, the bus lightens up as people get off. He stands up and proceeds to give me the stare down. He's at eye level with me, so I'm not about to look away but just look straight at him.

He then asks me, "Do you box?" I take my earbuds off and ask, 'excuse me?' He replies, "You think you're tough, huh?" I don't reply; I just smile and put my earbuds back on. He then says, "Yeah, you think you're tough" and proceeds to shadowbox in front of me.

At this point, I'm thinking WTF and put my MP3 player in my pocket to free up my right hand. (Bear in mind I'm standing and using my left hand to hold onto the railing.) I take off my earbuds and ask him back, "Do you box?" He replies, "Nah, man. I'd get knocked out."

After that exchange, he walks away, but begins to pace back and forth always coming back to the position where our 'conversation' took place. I wasn't sure if he was going to do anything, but I shifted my feet into a squared stance in case he tried to rush/attack me. I was mentally preparing myself to be ready for a fight when he got off at the next bus stop.

I don't know about you, but that was fucking weird...even for Los Angeles. He didn't appear to be on drugs, but I guess he was surprised that I stared back at him. Maybe he was expecting me to look away and be timid; but if you get in front of my face and try to stare me down, I'm going to stare right back at you.

Just WEIRD!