Saying Goodbye to My Dad

It's a rough start to the Year of the Dragon. My dad passed away recently and I gave the following eulogy at his memorial service.

Dear family and friends. We appreciate you coming to my father's memorial. I'm going to say a few words about my dad on behalf of my mom and myself.

My dad was born in Guangzhou, China in 193x. He was the youngest of 6 sons. His family would move to Hong Kong where it became home and the place where my dad would meet my mom. They grew up together, were deep in love and married.

After getting married, my dad wanted a change of scenery and immigrated to the United States where they would settle in Los Angeles. For a time, both my parents worked for my dad's older brother in a neighborhood market. While working there, my parents would end up meeting their closest & dearest friends.

In 197x my mom and dad had me. Unfortunately, not long after that, my dad developed health issues. My dad sought treatment and would slowly recover, although his health was never the same. He would eventually go into business with another one of his brothers when they purchased and ran a liquor store. My dad worked 365 days per year, at least 12 hours a day, and never had a day off for 10+ years.

It was an arduous life and with his health issues, my dad would eventually suffer a heart attack in 20xx. He would undergo quadruple bypass surgery, go through countless visits to multiple doctors, and made many trips to the hospital. My dad passed away in his sleep on the morning of Jan xx, 2012.

My dad was a loving husband and cared for my mother deeply. I never ever saw them fight. My dad was also a loving father who taught me right from wrong and to always do what is right. He taught me to be compassionate, to be respectful and to be humble. My dad was a good man and lived an honest life. We miss him terribly, but know that he’s in a much better place. He's no longer in pain, he’s no longer suffering.

Dad, you don’t have to worry about mom. We will take good care of her. You can rest in peace. I will always love you and I will never forget you.

I miss my dad. I am the man I am today because of him.

Should Have Been a Doctor

Well, my dad had a follow-up visit with the doctor who implanted his defibrillator this week. I'm happy to report the following:

• Almost all the bruising and swelling is gone from the area of his surgery
  
• My dad's vitals are good
• My dad is reporting no more pain

My dad still has to be careful with his left arm in that he can't raise it above his shoulder for the next 4 weeks, but the news from this visit was very encouraging.

I do want to share a few photos that I took of the waiting area in the doctor's office.



Obviously, the doctor is doing well. Maybe I should have heeded my parents' advice and been a doctor instead. It certainly would have taken me out of my current work environment.

Defibrillator Implanted!

Well, August 27th finally arrived!

I woke up bright and early to take my dad to the hospital to have the procedure of implanting a defibrillator. We got to the hospital around 8:40am where we proceeded to spend the next 40 minutes filling out paperwork. After that was completed, it was on the surgery preparation which took about an hour. Before we knew it, it was 11am and my dad was rolled off to surgery.

My mom and I were told that the procedure would take roughly 2-3 hours, so we decided to wait in the waiting area. Well, that 3 hour wait turned into a 5 hour wait. Because my dad had had open heart surgery (a quadruple bypass), it made the defibrillator procedure a lot more complex. As you can imagine, I started to get concerned when it hit 4 hours and we still had not seen the doctor. A nurse finally came out to let us know that it was taking longer than expected, but that my dad was doing well.

The doctor finally came out when it was all done and told us that everything went well. The defibrillator was implanted and everything was functioning properly. He said that my dad should feel better as the defibrillator helps synchronize his heart rhythm and should also help minimize the fluid build-up in his lungs that caused his last cardiac episode.

After speaking with the doctor, the nurses told us that my dad would be taken to Recovery ICU and then would be taken to a room where he would spend the night. Well, that process took another 4 hours as there were no rooms available for when my dad was ready to be moved. (Note: if it took 4 hours to get a room in a private hospital, I can only imagine what the wait would be like when the Feds take control of health care in the US.)

My mom and I got to see my dad while he was in Recovery ICU. When we first saw him, he did not look well at all. He was still groggy from the anesthesia and his face (particularly his cheeks) had no color at all. He was completely white. We were quite concerned, but the nurse assured us that he was fine. After about 30 minutes from that initial visit, color did return to his face once he woke up and was given some food.

We watched as the nurses measured his vitals - his temperature was fine, heart rate looked good and EKG came back strong. If this continues, I believe we'll be in good shape! My dad will stay in the hospital overnight and we'll take him home tomorrow.

Obviously, we still have to be careful for the next 6 weeks as my dad isn't allowed to raise his left arm above his shoulder as doing so could pull the defibrillator wires out of position. However, I'm optimistic my day at the hospital was well spent.

Defibrillator Procedure Scheduled

As you have probably noticed, my blogging has been few and far between the past 30 days. With everything that's been going on with my father's health, I haven't had much time or energy to devote to blogging. I'm hopeful that this will change over the course of the month as I have plenty of items I would like to blog about.

My first blog entry of Aug 2009 is related to my father's health issue. I took a half day off from work to accompany my father to consult the doctor who will be performing the procedure to implant the defibrillator. It was a mid-afternoon appointment, but like most doctor appointments, they are never on time. We waited an hour past our appointment time before we finally were seen by the nurse. The nurse did her thing and checked my father's vitals (which included an EKG) which took about 15 minutes total.

After that was done, we were told to sit tight as the doctor would be right with us. Well, we waited for another 20 minutes before the doctor came in. He basically told us that he had consulted with my father's cardiologist and agrees with the assessment that my father would benefit from a defibrillator. After a brief discussion, my father gave his approval to have the procedure and we had it scheduled.

Unfortunately, the earliest they could do it was late this month. I was hoping to have it done sooner, but the doctor's schedule was already booked for the next 3 weeks. He said my father should be fine in the meantime as long as he gets plenty of rest, continues taking his medication, and takes it easy for the next few weeks. I asked my dad to do just that and to minimize his activity.

As I stated before, I'm going to be anxious between now and the day of the procedure. Here's hoping to no emergency room visits or additional health-related drama. I've had my fill of them.

Dark Clouds Have Returned

The dark clouds have returned and may be with me for a bit....

I received another scare with my dad this past week. I got a call from mom one evening where she told me that my dad had weakness and numbness in both his arms and legs. Obviously, I rushed over and had him taken to the hospital emergency room.

It wasn't a heart attack, so we feared that it may be a stroke. At the hospital, they performed a CT scan and a neurologist checked him. The neurologist ruled out a stroke (much to our relief). The cardiologist, however, believes the weakness my dad experienced was a result of his weakened heart from the cardiac episode 3 weeks back. With that said, the cardiologist highly recommended that my dad get a defibrillator. He stated that my dad is susceptible to sudden death due to his weak heart and having the defibrillator could prevent that from happening.

My dad was hesitant to get it. He's regained feeling in his limbs and isn't keen on undergoing further surgery. However, the cardiologist explained to him that this procedure isn't open heart surgery. The procedure for the defibrillator is a 1 to 2 hour procedure which can be done on an outpatient basis for most people. Being that my dad is in a weakened condition, the cardiologist said that they would keep him overnight at the hospital just to ensure that everything is okay. He would get to go home the next day.

We're now setting up a time to have the procedure. Between now and then, I'm going to be a bit anxious and hope that we'll be able to weather the dark clouds that are upon us.

The Dark Clouds Have Parted!

It appears that the dark clouds have parted and the sunshine is out!

My dad was released from the hospital this afternoon. In the span of 3 days, my dad was given 3 doses of medication to expel fluid from his system which resulted in him losing a total of 5lbs. I can't imagine that he had that much fluid built up in his lungs, but he absolutely swears that there is no more discomfort in his chest. After he does something as simple as walking to the bathroom, he says that he no longer exhibits a shortness of breath or any discomfort (as he had experienced last week). This is, of course, great news!

The downside of this cardiac episode is that there probably is some impact on the health of his heart. To that extent, his cardiologist made an appointment to see him this Tuesday to have another checkup. He'll have another battery of tests run, so we'll see how that goes. But right now, I am just ecstatic that he's home. I can finally get some restful sleep!

Dark Clouds Above Me?

There must have been a few dark clouds above me as I spent the evening at the hospital emergency room with my dad. Let me explain...

At around midnight, I receive a call from my mom. She tells me that my dad isn't feeling well and wants to go to the emergency room. As you can imagine, I put on the first thing I can find and my wife and I head on over to my parents' house. We pick them up and head to the hospital.

On the way there, my mom tells me that my dad had been feeling discomfort all day long. He had wanted to go see his doctor, but it turns out the office is closed on Thursday. My dad decided to stick it out and see his doctor tomorrow rather than go to the hospital. Unfortunately, his body didn't quite agree - the discomfort got worse, he became short of breath, and he starting experiencing discomfort in his chest. He was also looking pale. The chest discomfort was the most worrisome thing as my dad has heart disease and went through a quadruple bypass some years ago. As you can imagine, we were all very worried.

We spent a total of 4 hours at the emergency room where they did the following:

• Blood pressue and heart rate monitoring
  
• ECG
  
• Chest x-ray
  
• Blood work
  

It turns out that there was fluid buildup in my dad's lungs which was causing him to be short of breath. In turn, this put stress on his heart as it struggled to pump more blood and oxygen through his system; hence the chest discomfort. The doctor at the emergency room proceeded to give my dad medication to start expelling water from his body. (And by expelling, I mean, he started to pee every 5-10 minutes.) This helped tremendously as after about an hour, his heart rate started to slow down and some color returned to his cheeks.

The emergency room staff got in contact with my dad's doctor once they had stabilized my dad's condition. They briefed him on what had happened and they decided to have my dad admitted to the hospital for continued treatment and observation.

We got home around 4am which means I had been up for almost 24 hours straight. I was very tired and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up at 9am, sent off an email to let my manager and team know that I wasn't going into work today, and washed up. I then went to pick up my mom and we visited my dad.

Happily, I can report that my dad looked better this morning. He was awake and alert. The doctor had visited with him at 7am and now we're waiting for his cardiologist to swing by to check him out as well. I suspect he'll be in the hospital for at least another day or two, but hopefully all will be well and these dark clouds will break for some much needed sunshine.